omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
