then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
