I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize