Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
