The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize