What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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