did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
