Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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