i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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