All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
