It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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