You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
