And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My first STD was from a foam party
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
