Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
