Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
