That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize