I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
