saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
