Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
