Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
