Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
