I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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