i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
