Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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