You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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