Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
