margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
