So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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