4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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