her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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