"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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