all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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