Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
