I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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