I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
