Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
