Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
