We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need to sanitize my soul.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
