New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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