I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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