adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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