beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My ass is underappreciated
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
