I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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