Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
