somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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