To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
