I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
