I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
