Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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