You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
