I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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