If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
