All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
