How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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