I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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