So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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