dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
