Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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