Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
