im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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