I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize